Blonde jokes
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Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started."
Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?"
"From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde.
The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box."
"Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde.
"Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."
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